Free Crack Pipe With Every Purchase Of Globalism

They also have a serious case of scurvy?

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice, nor legal advice, speak with a professional. Contains humour. Sorry Edward Slavsquat, it’s my turn at the dystopian sarcasm.

I had to re-read this article title several times. Yes, it is real… and it gets worse.

Free crack pipe vending machine? Tell me more! Breitbart goes on to remark:

The New York City vending machine is stocked with a ‘safe smoking kit’ which includes a heavy stem, mouthpiece, pusher, 6 screens, chore filter, and lip balm.

Super vital those crackheads get their lip balm. Wouldn’t want anyone dying from critical lip balm deficiency injuries.

So, not just any ol’ free crack pipe, but a full crack pipe smoking kit! For all those professional crack pipe smokers out there! Paid for by taxpayers’ dollars, and all free.

Actual quote from an actual government document.

The machine also contains condoms, which if this typo-ridden Irish Health Research Board ‘National Drugs Library’ pamphlet telling people how to smoke crack is to be believed, is also used with the crack pipe.

All this accessible by even children. Verification? Your ZIP code. It’s not like that’s easily falsifible or anything.

And just to get your hopes up, Breitbart added this hope inducing gem:

Less than 24 hours after its installation the machine was empty

Oh, great! Must be a good sign. Who wants to bet how many of these items are getting pawned off for money as we speak?

Originally reported by ABC7NY news, they mentioned something oddly omitted by Breitbart, namely that it also dispensed wound kits (emphasis added):

The machines will also offer hygiene kits, maxi pads, vitamin C, first aid and wound kits and coronavirus tests.

Wound kits for all the peaceful globalisms occurring in New York City. They’ve banned guns, don’t you know? So get healing. With your free crack pipe.

Of course, who can forget ABC10 spent an entire video last year trying to ‘deboonk’ the US government giving away free crack pipes:

Absolute mystery who could have put up not-free crack pipe vending machines 4 years ago in New York:

But wait, is that Vitamin C?

Actual quote, from Long Island mayor in “Possible crack pipe vending machines found on Long Island” video

No, not that, in the other, government approved crack pipe vending machine.

Ah yes, that’s right, you read Vitamin C. And no, the C doesn’t stand for Crack, surprisingly. One whole vitamin! A new record!

Are New Yorkers suffering from scurvy? Must be all the high seas travelling they’re doing. Or maybe they can’t afford Vitamin C containing citrus fruits? What a finely managed world of globalism. Don’t fix the cause, fix the symptoms!

But the other kicker for those of you irate at the globalists killing kids, the elderly, the disabled, depressed and poor, is they want to save society contributing crackheads. What to do as a discerning crackhead gentleman?

Kill The Elderly, Save The Crackheads

Ignore the fact the elderly already paid in and worked hard, won’t somebody please think of the crackheads?

Previously The Daily Beagle wrote an article covering how overdoses of opioids are treated (with an eye towards counteracting the mass murder of the elderly with opioids in carehomes), long story short, treatment involved Naloxone (A.K.A Narcan) and how in the UK it was over-the-counter (it had been for years).

How did the US government and the pharmaceutical industry react?

With applause only a few days later. US government: ‘Hooray, we’re fixing a problem we helped cause’. Porous borders have consequences.

‘Yippee, we can save all those crackheads’ (read: return customers of Pfizer & Co), and in the same month, the FDA declared they’d make Naloxone over-the-counter, followed by Dr Gupta clapping like a trained seal. How do doctors do that?

The Biden administration then started a grandstand band with the pro-censorship Ad Council to trumpet how great “their” idea of over-the-counter Naloxone is and how many lives it will save. Crackhead lives, of course. Wouldn’t want to save any children, the poor or the elderly by accident, so into the street vending machine it goes. What’s a carehome?

A month or so later Pfizer-connected Reuters issued an announcement how the US government were going to make Naloxone over-the-counter. The beneficiaries? Johnson & Johnson 75 million dose screw-up Emergent:

Don’t worry, the crackheads are in safe hands:

A 75% screw-up rate is pretty safe, right?

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