Before 2020, I used to think the BBC and NHS were the most wonderful trusted British 'institutions' in the world.
I've now terminated my (BBC) license subscription and don't trust any member of the medical profession that holds a needle! Even my dentist!
The BBC was so patently influenced to promote jabs, inflate exaggerate and maximise Covid DEATH stats, and criticise any that were slow to accept the pathetic British Government's ridiculous dictatorial 'overreach' Covid Policies.
Being in my late 70's my local surgery approached me for a Covid Jab. My local NHS Doctor refused to engage in any conversation, correspondence or several emailed requests for information relating to Vax Safety stats, following Covid injections. So much for his Hippocratic Oath = "First DO NO HARM"! Any attempts to persuade me or my family to accept a jab were abandoned as soon as any of us asked about LIABILITY in the event of Post Vax Adverse Reactions or POST VAX DEATH. Apparently, these didn't occur or were "extremely rare"! Big Pharma's Party Line = Sales pitch!
Ninfield Surgery near BATTLE, Sussex, is the practice I'm highlighting as unable to provide us with VAX SAFETY evidence that would enable us to give 'INFORMED CONSENT'! By this time, we were never likely to.
I decided to go on a mission to discover if this denial stance was 'universal' and put on my 'shopping tee-shirt on to visit a Covid Jab Centre in Eastbourne. My Tee-shirt reads "No Experimental jab for me" (Front) and "Ivermectin works, but it's banned" (back). I entered the jab centre and was asked to move away from the entry lobby because my tee shirt was too controversial. I refused and stated "I just need the latest printed stats proving Covid Vax was SAFE & EFFECTIVE. "Call Security" was the initial response, but nobody appeared. Eventually, they produced a Pfizer leaflet with various B/S and a small reference to the 'Rare event' of vax-related issues. Again "EXTREMELY RARE" was the Pfizer suggestion. Nothing was available from more trustworthy independent 'experts'. I left before the police arrived!
More people have begun to realise they were conned into getting dangerous materials injected to save lives. It's all total B/S and further reinforced my opinion that The WEF's New World Order engineered Covid and the deadly vax, while hiding safe proven pre-existing medicines and massaging the Covid Deaths data. For example; See the WHO's stats on the miraculous sudden disappearance of FLU in 2020!
I applaud your bravery Mick, and thank you for your commiserations.
I used to see the NHS as flawed, but redeemable. Then I worked for the NHS, and saw it as very flawed, and very difficult to redeem. Their nonsense with the poison shots betraying the public has soured me; twice those bastards tried to get me involved in the rollout, and twice I said no even at risk of being fired.
I can't stop every insane and suicidal staff member there from betraying the public's trust, but I can stop myself.
Much like myself, he was a private man, so what I know is only determined by what few facts were revealed. I only know of the fear, as I offered to assist him with stocking up on food supplies when the panic buying hit, and he freaked out and told me not to come, saying he didn't want to get infected.
There were many traits in him I could see in myself. I think the lack of social contact left him vulnerable to government brainwashing pushed by TV; he could use a computer, but I don't think he used social media. As a result, he only heard what mainstream media told him. I don't know what caused him to shift tracks and start reading about conspiracy theories in general (he had an interest in UFOs for the longest time but that was about it).
I've been angry at some people's responses, and disappointed at some family members, but his is the only one I can sympathise with. He was just so terrified at the time, I resent the government for it. What they did was an act of terrorism.
It's not easy living for a few months each year on a remote barrier island with no grid services, no roads, no shops, etc,. We have to arrange shopping trips, by Water Taxi, for groceries every month to top up our groceries and booze, etc.
I failed to mention that the metal roof is potentially lethal before midday when any moisture should have dissipated, Condensation makes the 30-degree steel roof extremely slippery. I found this out the hard way a few years back when I assumed the roof had dried out from the previous night's condensation and climbed up to attend to something. I put my foot on a wet metal section and slid down into/under our PV solar panels. Fortunately, I slid into the aluminium framework beneath the panels and gouged my right leg. Strangely, it didn't break the skin but left a small mound of flesh squashed beneath the skin. After a couple of weeks, the bruising got worse and my Wife insisted I go to the mainland for treatment (Antibiotics).
I still have a noticeable lump under my skin but no other long-term consequences.
Cheers! Keep up your great work in warning the world of what's really going on. Mick.
Funny story! Last year I was considering following up an NHS place on their long waiting list for a Hip Replacement. It sounds ridiculous, but I've been on the list for around 10 years, but each year they 'follow up' with my case, I re-consider the potential of what might happen to my relatively active life-style if anything went wrong with the operation. Highly unlikely, but a possibility.
Each year my hip gets slightly worse (probably because I played local league football on Saturdays and Sundays with training mid-week until I retired aged 60). So, I attended a pre-op meeting with a senior (female) nurse.
She went through the procedures verbally, some of which I'd been through during a previous meeting when I decided to postpone the op.
Because I refuse to wear a mask - even in hospital, we started talking about my suspicions regarding Covid and the DEADLY VAX. At first she was whispering her opinions to me, but when I showed her my tee-shirt with Anti-Covid Vax messages, she revealed that she was anticipating getting dismissed because she was refusing to take the MANDATED VAX demanded for NHS employees.
I think she was relieved that there were other people on the planet that agreed with her 'isolated' view, within the closed NHS environment.
I'm now 78 and think it's time to get the hip replaced but hope it doesn't impinge on my annual vacation when I have to climb onto our 'off-grid Florida vacation home on a remote island - to clean and adjust solar panels and turn on taps to refill the solar water panel for the duration of our stay.
The roof is 35 feet high and is of metal construction. Balance and agility is somerthing you need to even get to the solar panels.
Last year we had Hurricane Ian make 'landfall' on Cayo Costa so I had other roof issues and house damage to deal with. I had to relocate a woodstove flue cover (rain-cap) which got blown away. Not easy, when you've got to bodge stuff 'cos there's no local labour and no shops to buy stuff!
Wish me luck with the op, if they're not on strike!
Sounds risky with the roof. I only wish I could emigrate to America, wouldn't pass the requirements (or afford it at present). A remote island away from all this chaos sounds lovely!
You wrote with far more tact and care than I can or will. And that is exactly why I support the Daily Beagle!
I'm still not quite over my nanna's sudden passing on 12 Feb, 2022, only two months after my mum put her in a "care" home; mum's lover dying suddenly (pulmonary embolism) while they were snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef; losing 7 co-workers (1 died, 6 crippled) to various vaccine injuries in 2021, *and* there being no end in sight because excess mortality, esp. in the over 65s, is through the roof across the planet.
I think for me, I had already accepted they were going to die the moment I learned they had Parkinsons pre-pandemic. And perhaps I'm a monster for thinking this, but my greatest fear was they would have a very long, very slow, downward decline, the kind where they need continual, intensive support.
My family have had to deal with a lot of members who've gone through that, and it takes its toll, as you spend years of your life playing lifesupport to someone who isn't all there for seemingly no return. For the sake of my parents, who are the backbone of this family and would have been burdened with most of the caring, I did not wish for a long decline.
I was told he didn't want a long decline either. As soon as he lost the use of his ability to walk, he didn't want to live.
I've seen some terrible NHS hospitals, but this one was amazing. They prioritised him for emergency surgery within a day. It took me 4 years to get my surgery, for contrast. The ward staff were polite, and actually addressed our concerns.
They were young, however, and I think inexperience led to the inappropriate discharge. Having worked in hospital discharges myself, I was already acutely aware of the 'no win' scenario, so I don't hold a resentment. In *theory* he could have recovered, but in reality I think everybody knew he wasn't going to be able to; he was not putting on weight, and starvation was a real possibility.
To me, this isn't like the senseless murders committed by Pfizer & Co that have cut so many lives short and massacred perfectly healthy people with their futures ahead of them. Those people have every right to be angry and upset, and should be.
Your story is a reminder that life is messy. Each of us has whatever body we were born with and sometimes bad things happen to good people, like getting Parkinson's. Or early onset dementia.
Then, because of whatever condition we have, we interact with our imperfect health system because we need medical care. Furthermore, the medical system doesn't have infinite resources and the system makes tradeoffs of different bad options. For example, not being able to afford to keep a patient in the hospital for long term care and so the patient is discharged to a long term care facility.
And while nobody intends to make mistakes, we all do. So imagine an administrator in the hospital arranges for a nice long term care home that has private rooms. But in this case, the private room was not the right thing, but this was probably not obvious to the administrator at the time.
So lots of decisions are made that seem sensible to the people working in the system and are perhaps suboptimal, but not pessimal.
My experience with my older family members who have been in the hospital, and some have died in the hospital from old age, is that because the people working there are busy and don't see the whole, perfect, up-to-date picture of each of their patients, the doctors and nurses make suboptimal decisions because of this imperfect information. Thus, my family has learned to make sure that every time there is a shift change or an important decision is going to be made, that we try to inform the doctors and nurses with information about our family member so that doctors and nurses can make better decisions.
And of course we beat ourselves up because we should have done this or that but we didn't have the time or the money. Or did we have the time? Or were we too cheap? Etc.
Anyway, dying is complicated and not for the faint of heart.
I wanted to confirm for myself what the cause was.
I did my best to 'hover like a hawk' precisely so no Midazolam was involved.
The consultant remarked if I hadn't of turned up, they would have presumed he didn't have any family. Which to me was a bizarre comment, because usually first port of call is to contact next of kin.
You said, “ if I hadn't of turned up, they would have presumed he didn't have any family.”
Good grief. That encapsulates how medicine has changed since the 1950s when my GP dad started practice. I saw physicians slowly inundated by paperwork, regulation, ‘continuing education.’ Very sad, but to me, not surprising when CoV crazies hit medicine.
My sister had several serious health issues, but had family with her after losing her home during the recession. What ‘did her in’ was a broken neck (daughter rear-ended another car).
Yes, life is messy. Here in the U.S. there’s a lot of talk about respecting needs for “safety” amongst college kids who are threatened by…just…discussion in a classroom. They’re extrapolating from people’s genuine needs or physical issues to demand classrooms exclude… discussion.
Well, life is also not ‘safe.’
Had a neighbor who was a breast cancer survivor. 5’2”. Her comment to me one day when I stopped for tea was, “It takes courage to get old.” About 6years later courage became a real issue. Her spouse was 6’5”. He developed a neurological problem, progressively more unstable, unable to get up when he fell. She was shorter and didn’t have leverage to get him upright. They had moved to a community where houses were very closely spaced, but that wasn’t working out well—I guess they expected common decency, but a (healthy, contemporary, single male) neighbor across from her (porch 9’ from hers) told her to call 911 one time when she asked for help because she couldn’t get tall one off the floor. I eventually found out that another (female, single, clubfooted) neighbor closer to her came once a week to sit with the tall one so she could get out and play bridge. I hated living there because of how the state and the HOA handled the Obama-era recession, & was glad when I could move. Nevertheless, when I left in my moving truck, towing my car, she emailed a kind farewell.
Life: messy, not ‘safe.’ :)
I’m sorry for your loss, and respect your sharing. In a year of holidays, it will be better.
I think there has been a desperate push to 'insulate' a generation from reality, but to what purpose? To me, it isn't the kind of insular behaviour an overly protective mother has to a child, but strikes me more akin to that of a control freak trying to keep an abused from freedom - or the truth, as it were.
I can see what your friend means about courage. Getting older means facing either more hardship, or the same hardship with a body that's not as capable as it used to be.
I think right now there's so many bad things going on I haven't had time to truly process what has occurred. I think sooner or later I will hit the wall of grief.
By your description I think you are handling this quite well. My parents passed away a few years apart. These passages are big transition times. You may indeed ‘hit the wall’ at some point, especially if you are a loner. There are indeed a lot of bad things to distract us right now. I hope, though, that at at least at each holiday time in the year you can at least go through photos, or phone a relative and recall the pleasant things, vent about frustrations, take stock of changes.
An example. I stayed mum in both my parents’ services, but I took a bit of control and eulogized my sister. In the eulogy I made a thought picture for the assembly of how she grew up along the line of French colonial forts—Presque Isle, LeBoeuf, Michault, Duquesne. About the good fishing and big stringers of fish she caught in area lakes. And by recalling how when I was told she had been taken off life support but was able to breathe on her own for a while, and respond to speech for awhile, I asked her husband to remind her of our Russian Blue cat (touch); wildflowers, birds, berries and mushrooms on walks along Towpath Road (a portion of the Erie Canal system along Conneaut Marsh) (sights); and the strong, sweet scent of black locust flowers on the corner near our house at night in June (smell).
Contemplate little story-equivalents like this over tea, perhaps.
Sincere commiserations!
Before 2020, I used to think the BBC and NHS were the most wonderful trusted British 'institutions' in the world.
I've now terminated my (BBC) license subscription and don't trust any member of the medical profession that holds a needle! Even my dentist!
The BBC was so patently influenced to promote jabs, inflate exaggerate and maximise Covid DEATH stats, and criticise any that were slow to accept the pathetic British Government's ridiculous dictatorial 'overreach' Covid Policies.
Being in my late 70's my local surgery approached me for a Covid Jab. My local NHS Doctor refused to engage in any conversation, correspondence or several emailed requests for information relating to Vax Safety stats, following Covid injections. So much for his Hippocratic Oath = "First DO NO HARM"! Any attempts to persuade me or my family to accept a jab were abandoned as soon as any of us asked about LIABILITY in the event of Post Vax Adverse Reactions or POST VAX DEATH. Apparently, these didn't occur or were "extremely rare"! Big Pharma's Party Line = Sales pitch!
Ninfield Surgery near BATTLE, Sussex, is the practice I'm highlighting as unable to provide us with VAX SAFETY evidence that would enable us to give 'INFORMED CONSENT'! By this time, we were never likely to.
I decided to go on a mission to discover if this denial stance was 'universal' and put on my 'shopping tee-shirt on to visit a Covid Jab Centre in Eastbourne. My Tee-shirt reads "No Experimental jab for me" (Front) and "Ivermectin works, but it's banned" (back). I entered the jab centre and was asked to move away from the entry lobby because my tee shirt was too controversial. I refused and stated "I just need the latest printed stats proving Covid Vax was SAFE & EFFECTIVE. "Call Security" was the initial response, but nobody appeared. Eventually, they produced a Pfizer leaflet with various B/S and a small reference to the 'Rare event' of vax-related issues. Again "EXTREMELY RARE" was the Pfizer suggestion. Nothing was available from more trustworthy independent 'experts'. I left before the police arrived!
More people have begun to realise they were conned into getting dangerous materials injected to save lives. It's all total B/S and further reinforced my opinion that The WEF's New World Order engineered Covid and the deadly vax, while hiding safe proven pre-existing medicines and massaging the Covid Deaths data. For example; See the WHO's stats on the miraculous sudden disappearance of FLU in 2020!
Mick from Hooe (UK) Unjabbed to live longer!
I applaud your bravery Mick, and thank you for your commiserations.
I used to see the NHS as flawed, but redeemable. Then I worked for the NHS, and saw it as very flawed, and very difficult to redeem. Their nonsense with the poison shots betraying the public has soured me; twice those bastards tried to get me involved in the rollout, and twice I said no even at risk of being fired.
I can't stop every insane and suicidal staff member there from betraying the public's trust, but I can stop myself.
Well written Beagle, and my sympathy.
I write this from the perspective of a grandparent whose 3 year granddaughter died from aspiration in a park . About 6 years ago .
So since you asked, my view is there were three contributing circumstances to this premature demise .
1 - the jab, especially the 2nd jab
2 - the Covid response
3 - his choice of fear over faith .
And without knowing any more details than what you provide, I would give equal measure to all three .
Much like myself, he was a private man, so what I know is only determined by what few facts were revealed. I only know of the fear, as I offered to assist him with stocking up on food supplies when the panic buying hit, and he freaked out and told me not to come, saying he didn't want to get infected.
There were many traits in him I could see in myself. I think the lack of social contact left him vulnerable to government brainwashing pushed by TV; he could use a computer, but I don't think he used social media. As a result, he only heard what mainstream media told him. I don't know what caused him to shift tracks and start reading about conspiracy theories in general (he had an interest in UFOs for the longest time but that was about it).
I've been angry at some people's responses, and disappointed at some family members, but his is the only one I can sympathise with. He was just so terrified at the time, I resent the government for it. What they did was an act of terrorism.
Thanks Underdog!
It's not easy living for a few months each year on a remote barrier island with no grid services, no roads, no shops, etc,. We have to arrange shopping trips, by Water Taxi, for groceries every month to top up our groceries and booze, etc.
I failed to mention that the metal roof is potentially lethal before midday when any moisture should have dissipated, Condensation makes the 30-degree steel roof extremely slippery. I found this out the hard way a few years back when I assumed the roof had dried out from the previous night's condensation and climbed up to attend to something. I put my foot on a wet metal section and slid down into/under our PV solar panels. Fortunately, I slid into the aluminium framework beneath the panels and gouged my right leg. Strangely, it didn't break the skin but left a small mound of flesh squashed beneath the skin. After a couple of weeks, the bruising got worse and my Wife insisted I go to the mainland for treatment (Antibiotics).
I still have a noticeable lump under my skin but no other long-term consequences.
Cheers! Keep up your great work in warning the world of what's really going on. Mick.
Sorry to hear of the injury, and it is lucky you didn't encounter anything worse being isolated from the mainland!
It sounds particularly lethal when wet, maybe a safety harness, or scaffolding? I don't know what your options are like.
I'll keep up the good work!
Funny story! Last year I was considering following up an NHS place on their long waiting list for a Hip Replacement. It sounds ridiculous, but I've been on the list for around 10 years, but each year they 'follow up' with my case, I re-consider the potential of what might happen to my relatively active life-style if anything went wrong with the operation. Highly unlikely, but a possibility.
Each year my hip gets slightly worse (probably because I played local league football on Saturdays and Sundays with training mid-week until I retired aged 60). So, I attended a pre-op meeting with a senior (female) nurse.
She went through the procedures verbally, some of which I'd been through during a previous meeting when I decided to postpone the op.
Because I refuse to wear a mask - even in hospital, we started talking about my suspicions regarding Covid and the DEADLY VAX. At first she was whispering her opinions to me, but when I showed her my tee-shirt with Anti-Covid Vax messages, she revealed that she was anticipating getting dismissed because she was refusing to take the MANDATED VAX demanded for NHS employees.
I think she was relieved that there were other people on the planet that agreed with her 'isolated' view, within the closed NHS environment.
I'm now 78 and think it's time to get the hip replaced but hope it doesn't impinge on my annual vacation when I have to climb onto our 'off-grid Florida vacation home on a remote island - to clean and adjust solar panels and turn on taps to refill the solar water panel for the duration of our stay.
The roof is 35 feet high and is of metal construction. Balance and agility is somerthing you need to even get to the solar panels.
Last year we had Hurricane Ian make 'landfall' on Cayo Costa so I had other roof issues and house damage to deal with. I had to relocate a woodstove flue cover (rain-cap) which got blown away. Not easy, when you've got to bodge stuff 'cos there's no local labour and no shops to buy stuff!
Wish me luck with the op, if they're not on strike!
Regards! Mick.
Bye for now! Mick.
Sounds risky with the roof. I only wish I could emigrate to America, wouldn't pass the requirements (or afford it at present). A remote island away from all this chaos sounds lovely!
Good luck with your op Mick!
You wrote with far more tact and care than I can or will. And that is exactly why I support the Daily Beagle!
I'm still not quite over my nanna's sudden passing on 12 Feb, 2022, only two months after my mum put her in a "care" home; mum's lover dying suddenly (pulmonary embolism) while they were snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef; losing 7 co-workers (1 died, 6 crippled) to various vaccine injuries in 2021, *and* there being no end in sight because excess mortality, esp. in the over 65s, is through the roof across the planet.
My condolences extend to you in sympathy.
Thank you for your condolences.
I think for me, I had already accepted they were going to die the moment I learned they had Parkinsons pre-pandemic. And perhaps I'm a monster for thinking this, but my greatest fear was they would have a very long, very slow, downward decline, the kind where they need continual, intensive support.
My family have had to deal with a lot of members who've gone through that, and it takes its toll, as you spend years of your life playing lifesupport to someone who isn't all there for seemingly no return. For the sake of my parents, who are the backbone of this family and would have been burdened with most of the caring, I did not wish for a long decline.
I was told he didn't want a long decline either. As soon as he lost the use of his ability to walk, he didn't want to live.
I've seen some terrible NHS hospitals, but this one was amazing. They prioritised him for emergency surgery within a day. It took me 4 years to get my surgery, for contrast. The ward staff were polite, and actually addressed our concerns.
They were young, however, and I think inexperience led to the inappropriate discharge. Having worked in hospital discharges myself, I was already acutely aware of the 'no win' scenario, so I don't hold a resentment. In *theory* he could have recovered, but in reality I think everybody knew he wasn't going to be able to; he was not putting on weight, and starvation was a real possibility.
To me, this isn't like the senseless murders committed by Pfizer & Co that have cut so many lives short and massacred perfectly healthy people with their futures ahead of them. Those people have every right to be angry and upset, and should be.
Your story is a reminder that life is messy. Each of us has whatever body we were born with and sometimes bad things happen to good people, like getting Parkinson's. Or early onset dementia.
Then, because of whatever condition we have, we interact with our imperfect health system because we need medical care. Furthermore, the medical system doesn't have infinite resources and the system makes tradeoffs of different bad options. For example, not being able to afford to keep a patient in the hospital for long term care and so the patient is discharged to a long term care facility.
And while nobody intends to make mistakes, we all do. So imagine an administrator in the hospital arranges for a nice long term care home that has private rooms. But in this case, the private room was not the right thing, but this was probably not obvious to the administrator at the time.
So lots of decisions are made that seem sensible to the people working in the system and are perhaps suboptimal, but not pessimal.
My experience with my older family members who have been in the hospital, and some have died in the hospital from old age, is that because the people working there are busy and don't see the whole, perfect, up-to-date picture of each of their patients, the doctors and nurses make suboptimal decisions because of this imperfect information. Thus, my family has learned to make sure that every time there is a shift change or an important decision is going to be made, that we try to inform the doctors and nurses with information about our family member so that doctors and nurses can make better decisions.
And of course we beat ourselves up because we should have done this or that but we didn't have the time or the money. Or did we have the time? Or were we too cheap? Etc.
Anyway, dying is complicated and not for the faint of heart.
I wanted to confirm for myself what the cause was.
I did my best to 'hover like a hawk' precisely so no Midazolam was involved.
The consultant remarked if I hadn't of turned up, they would have presumed he didn't have any family. Which to me was a bizarre comment, because usually first port of call is to contact next of kin.
You said, “ if I hadn't of turned up, they would have presumed he didn't have any family.”
Good grief. That encapsulates how medicine has changed since the 1950s when my GP dad started practice. I saw physicians slowly inundated by paperwork, regulation, ‘continuing education.’ Very sad, but to me, not surprising when CoV crazies hit medicine.
My sister had several serious health issues, but had family with her after losing her home during the recession. What ‘did her in’ was a broken neck (daughter rear-ended another car).
Yes, life is messy. Here in the U.S. there’s a lot of talk about respecting needs for “safety” amongst college kids who are threatened by…just…discussion in a classroom. They’re extrapolating from people’s genuine needs or physical issues to demand classrooms exclude… discussion.
Well, life is also not ‘safe.’
Had a neighbor who was a breast cancer survivor. 5’2”. Her comment to me one day when I stopped for tea was, “It takes courage to get old.” About 6years later courage became a real issue. Her spouse was 6’5”. He developed a neurological problem, progressively more unstable, unable to get up when he fell. She was shorter and didn’t have leverage to get him upright. They had moved to a community where houses were very closely spaced, but that wasn’t working out well—I guess they expected common decency, but a (healthy, contemporary, single male) neighbor across from her (porch 9’ from hers) told her to call 911 one time when she asked for help because she couldn’t get tall one off the floor. I eventually found out that another (female, single, clubfooted) neighbor closer to her came once a week to sit with the tall one so she could get out and play bridge. I hated living there because of how the state and the HOA handled the Obama-era recession, & was glad when I could move. Nevertheless, when I left in my moving truck, towing my car, she emailed a kind farewell.
Life: messy, not ‘safe.’ :)
I’m sorry for your loss, and respect your sharing. In a year of holidays, it will be better.
Thank you for your condolences.
I think there has been a desperate push to 'insulate' a generation from reality, but to what purpose? To me, it isn't the kind of insular behaviour an overly protective mother has to a child, but strikes me more akin to that of a control freak trying to keep an abused from freedom - or the truth, as it were.
I can see what your friend means about courage. Getting older means facing either more hardship, or the same hardship with a body that's not as capable as it used to be.
I think right now there's so many bad things going on I haven't had time to truly process what has occurred. I think sooner or later I will hit the wall of grief.
By your description I think you are handling this quite well. My parents passed away a few years apart. These passages are big transition times. You may indeed ‘hit the wall’ at some point, especially if you are a loner. There are indeed a lot of bad things to distract us right now. I hope, though, that at at least at each holiday time in the year you can at least go through photos, or phone a relative and recall the pleasant things, vent about frustrations, take stock of changes.
An example. I stayed mum in both my parents’ services, but I took a bit of control and eulogized my sister. In the eulogy I made a thought picture for the assembly of how she grew up along the line of French colonial forts—Presque Isle, LeBoeuf, Michault, Duquesne. About the good fishing and big stringers of fish she caught in area lakes. And by recalling how when I was told she had been taken off life support but was able to breathe on her own for a while, and respond to speech for awhile, I asked her husband to remind her of our Russian Blue cat (touch); wildflowers, birds, berries and mushrooms on walks along Towpath Road (a portion of the Erie Canal system along Conneaut Marsh) (sights); and the strong, sweet scent of black locust flowers on the corner near our house at night in June (smell).
Contemplate little story-equivalents like this over tea, perhaps.
Take hold and take good care of yourself.
Thank you for your support Debra!